Hey, I'm Mark


I live in South London with Julie (my wife), Emilie (our 14 year old daughter), Louise (our 11 year old daughter), Nibbles (Guinea Pig). We used to have a fish... it died. I did everything right, changed the water, fed it the right food, actually joined facebook forums and subscribed to fish-based YouTube channels. But no... it just had to die right in front of my kids.


Sucky 2020 - 2024


Feel free to observe a minute's silence. Perhaps combine it with a trip to the loo?

Adventurous person jumping with arms raised on rocky coastal cliff overlooking the ocean.

Stuff I like:


  • Holiday road trips (campervan ideally).
  • Drumming (yeah... I can play the drums).
  • Escape rooms (not great at them... but LOVE them).
  • Coffee - I can do latte art!
  • Getting poached eggs perfect.
  • Alfa Romeos (they don't just break down).
  • Salted Caramel everything.
  • Walkers crisps... cheese & onion rules.
  • Cooking French style (thanks to my In-Laws).
  • Peter Kay, garlic bread, cheese cake...
  • Using water from my dehumidifier to water plants.
  • Tinkering with engines.
  • Alan Partridge (Dan)




ME - JUMPING FOR SOME REASON IN WALES
Enquire to check my availability

WE LIKE TRAVEL

TRAVEL LIKES US

White motorhome camper van parked on a dirt road with scenic mountains and forest in the background.

From camper vans to old (and restored) tractors, we love taking on new challenges and waking up somewhere new. This can/does/will happen by accident.

Enquire to check availability
Two people enjoying sunset on a wooden swing marked with #royaldubrovnik by the ocean.

We love a good old family adventure. We never quite know where we're gonna end up next! We'll probably end up arguing over a map.


I'LL LOOSE.

Family taking selfie together on scenic coastal mountain hiking trail.
Vintage red International Harvester tractor being operated in a sunny garden setting.

General Stats:

MY STRENGTHS:


Lighting fires in wind... some people just got it.

Good with mechanics, we're on the same page.

Can blow nose silently... great for cinemas.

Balancing cheese/wine intake, learned from the French.

Weber grills (oh yeah baby).

Dishwasher organisation.

Can drive on the right.

I make pretty awesome Flat Whites.

Cleaning out Guinea Pig cages (reluctant skill).

Replicating statues... mainly in Italy.

Parking a boat... when needed.

Quoting Withnail & I.

MY WEAKNESSES:


Finding the ketchup, or anything in the fridge.

Balloons alarm me, not sure why.

Prone to static shocks.

Trying to beat my mother-in-law at Rummikub.

Understanding basic things at important times.

Thinking there's a parking space, but it actually has a smart car.

Getting USB the right way round first time.

Reacting well when my kids say I'm not cool.

Predicting when a traffic light's gonna go green.

Microwaving soup.

Asthma... thought I'd throw a medical one in.

Knocking on a door... when there's a doorbell.

Give us an escape room anytime! WE'RE IN ONE NOW.

Group enjoying drinks and bowling together at a retro-styled bowling alley bar.